So I just got mail. And it exploded in my face.

[For a disturbingly-large number of people, this won't be the first time they've seen Vriska covered in blood. It's slightly unusual for it to be her own blood - which it is, as evidenced by the distinctive cerulean hue of it - but still. She doesn't seem too bothered.]

Nice try, Douchebag ( Read more... )

[Sup feed. Have an uncharacteristically dopey, dreamy-looking Vriska.]

So I just wanted to let eeeeeeeeverybody know that me and my matesprit John have moved hives. To a bigger place. I mean, we're still living together! Because obviously we're not going to like. Live apart now that we are officially official matesprits.

Officially. On an ( Read more... )

[Hello, Sacrosanct. Have a pair of high-as-balls teenagers. Neither of which is Gamzee Makara, holy shit.

Vriska and Eridan are giggling on the Godhaus couch. Their hands are coasted in gross, translucent green goo - some of which splatters on the feed as Vriska waves to the camera.]

Heyyyyyyyy, everybody! I just. Just wanted you all to know that ( Read more... )

[The music has already begun when Vriska switches on the feed. This is no accidental and/or fungus-addled broadcast. This is entirely intentional. SHARE THE LOVE, GUYS ( Read more... )

[HEY, SACROSANCT, HEEEEEEEEY. Vriska is perched on a window-ledge outside a fairly nondescript apartment, and she seems to be the most confused.]

You guys hear that?

[She holds up her wearable as if to help people hear the sound better, and after a few seconds she starts humming along to a tune that others may-or-may-not be able to hear. ( Read more... )

[Vriska looks nervous. And uncomfortable. And shifty as fuck.]

So. So, uh. I have this friend. And - [she hesitates, glances offscreen, then resumes speaking to the camera:] - uh. She. She's having a... baby, I guess? I mean, uh. She is like. I guess she's kind of pregnant or. Something. Even though I'm not sure how that happened, b--

[OKAY, ( Read more... )

Ok. I am 8ack!
And now that I am done dealing with the hugest and most st8tionwide pro8lems (Asphodel was gr8, thanks for asking), I can deliver on my promise to fix all you dum8asses' MINI8TURE pro8lems.
So here we go! It is time for ASK AUNT VRISKA!
I am certain you will all find it helpful and inform8tive and. All that shit.
Enjoy!

( Cut for PROBLEMS AND FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS and buttloads of text )

[The feed opens on Vriska sitting in a patch of grass in one of the garden zones, sniffing delicately at a flower. This continues for a few seconds before she makes a big show of 'noticing' that she's transmitting.]

Oh! Hey. Didn't see you there! Greetings, Sacrosanct...ians!

[She hops to her feet, brushes down the little white dress she's ( Read more... )

[Vriska looks relatively upbeat for someone who's been constantly dying since Wednesday. Which isn't to say she's fine - she looks completely exhausted - but still better than you might expect.

Her voice isn't faring so well, though. Croaky half-whispering is GO.]

Okay, I am really fucking bored. I mean, sure! Dying over and over and over was ( Read more... )

[ The feed turns on to a rather silly (and sultry?) looking Jade, dressed up in a pirate!Mindfang outfit that was clearly loaned to her by one Vriska Serket. She's squinting at the camera -- probably because her glasses are missing. ]

Avast, first mate Dave! [ So embarrassed. She's entirely red. ] I am a sexy gamblignant pirate chick. Possibly the ( Read more... )